Those nearest and dearest to me have compared me to a squirrel; Determinedly running full speed in a direction, only to suddenly turn on a dime, change course and run in another for no apparent reason at all. Always busy with an ‘important’ task, yet a bit lost and confused in its purpose.
As much as I’d love to deny this squirrel accusation, it can’t be argued. My mind is constantly swimming (drowning rather) in the list of things that need, must, HAVE to be done, that I find myself losing focus on my true purpose in life; motherhood.
I’m well aware that I am not the first to feel overwhelmed with running a household and raising young children, but my circumstances are a bit different than most in my community… I am a single, working mother.
I know that the title isn’t a rare one, and it’s not one that I am ashamed or burdened by owning. I feel extremely blessed to have all that I do, but when the women I work with, socialize with, volunteer with and/or parent alongside are not in my situation, they are most often able to do more and give more than I can. I find myself comparing circumstances and feeling inadequate in what I can provide my children with.
Soon I find myself in a cloud of “busy work” having lost focus on my little ones and hyper focusing on all that I am lacking, turning me into the above mentioned squirrel who has lost her purpose.
For others with similar challenges, I would encourage them to do exactly what I have trouble doing… staying focused on what is most important. To simplify life with less distractions so you can be the mother you want to be, and the one that your children need. I know that when I do, that’s when I feel most at peace with myself and with my life.”
‘Cleaning and scrubbing can wait till tomorrow,
For babies grow up, we’ve learned to our sorrow,
So quiet down cobwebs. And dust go to sleep.
I’m rocking my baby, and babies don’t keep.’